To Destroy a Marriage

As I was browsing through the news this morning a headline caught me by surprise. It read, "How to Destroy Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps." Curious, I clicked the link and expected to disagree with whatever the article had to say. It turned out I was pleasantly surprised by the sarcastically positive message of the post. The author had interviewed a lawyer to discover a few of the top reasons couples split, and the results were a fascinating display of the selfish nature of humanity. In his book Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges talks about several different kinds of selfishness, including selfishness of interests, time, money, inconsiderateness. It was interesting to see that many of the things that caused the destruction of marriage came down to selfishness. Bridges comments that, "the unselfish person is always balancing out his or her needs and concerns with the needs and concerns of others. By contrast, the selfish person not only is indifferent to the needs of others but actually expects them to meet his needs and desires.This form of selfishness is found in marriages where each spouse expects the others to meet his or her needs, instead of thinking how they can serve each other." So here are some of the easiest ways to destroy a marriage with a few comments by me:
"Destroy Your Marriage Tip #2: 
Continue to debate the toothpaste cap and the toilet seat as if winning the argument means you get to live 10 years longer."
If you think your life about winning your battles you're wrong. Standing on a molehill to die on is a very selfish way to make your best friend an enemy. Be gracious to each other, and don't let the little things become a big issue. Let "Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8) , and consider that you’re not always right.
"Destroy Your Marriage Tip #4: 
Put work before family."
Work should be to provide for a family, not to escape from reality and avoid responsibility. Loving others is to put them before yourself and provide not only provide for their physical needs but needs such as quality time, listening and sacrifice.
"Destroy Your Marriage Tip #7: 
Reserve your bed for sleeping. After all, that's what the mattress was designed for, right?"
I'm not married, but I've heard that it's easy to believe that your body is your own in marriage when really you are one flesh, and must be equally giving to each other. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says, "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
            You can find the rest of these tips here: https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/destroy-marriage-8-easy-steps-192200785.html, and remember that "Relationships are workrooms for redemption, not shelters for human happiness." (Tripp). Selfishness not only destroys you, but can hurt those you love most. Take time to think twice when you reach a difficult situation with a loved one and attempt to look to their needs before your own.

Cited:
Bridges, Jerry. Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2007. Print.
"How to Destroy Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps." Yahoo Shine. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Apr. 2014. <https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/destroy-marriage-8-easy-steps-192200785.html>.
Lane, Timothy S., and Paul David Tripp. Relationships: A Mess worth Making. Greensboro, NC: New Growth, 2008. Print.