Not Just For You

Maybe it was because we share the same name, and maybe it was because it’s spring and engagements are on my mind, but either way the article about CBS host Megan Alexander saving sex for marriage caught my eye. Alexander is a committed Christian and recently talked to the news about her refusal to have sex before marriage. She says she believes that this is “God’s best design” and is counter-cultural. Kudos to her.

However, I found something lacking.

In the article, Alexander said, "I want to encourage the next generation to take their time, to value their bodies and to realize that it's okay to wait if you want to. And for me, it worked out great and I believe that other people need to hear that message and know that it's just fine to take their time." later on she also comments that,“It's not right for everyone…..But she wanted to provide an alternative view of sex in a world where sex before marriage is almost expected” (Borgursky).

If you want to. It worked out great for me. Not right for everyone. Alternative veiw. These are post-modern ways of saying that God’s law is optional. Paul David Tripp, in his book Sex and Money says that “God’s law is a wonderful guide for how you were designed to live your life” (Tripp). Not a suggestion- a life giving law that IS right for everyone. God’s commandments are not burdensome and Deuteronomy 10:12-13 says that the laws are for our good.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 says,

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”

So purity is God’s will and is for the good of all mankind, and impurity is a disregard for God and a lack of faith. Purity is not just saving sex for marriage, it is living in a way that honors the Lord and others at all times, in faith that He has everything you need right now, and in hope that He will provide what you need in His timing. It is not about saving sex for marriage because purity is even required after marriage, and it is not just a suggestion. Purity is a command, and not just a command, it is a command for our good. So Megan Alexander, you didn't just stumble onto a method that works for you and maybe others, you just realized that God’s law actually is what it says it is what we are called to as image bearers of Christ.

Works Cited:

Bogursky, Sasha. "TV Host Megan Alexander: Why I Saved Myself for Marriage." Fox

News. FOX News Network, 30 Apr. 2014. Web. 01 May 2014.

<http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2014/04/30/cbs-host-megan-alexander-why-saved-myself-for-marriage/>.

Tripp, Paul David. Sex & Money: Pleasures That Leave You Empty and Grace That

Satisfies. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.

To Destroy a Marriage

As I was browsing through the news this morning a headline caught me by surprise. It read, "How to Destroy Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps." Curious, I clicked the link and expected to disagree with whatever the article had to say. It turned out I was pleasantly surprised by the sarcastically positive message of the post. The author had interviewed a lawyer to discover a few of the top reasons couples split, and the results were a fascinating display of the selfish nature of humanity. In his book Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges talks about several different kinds of selfishness, including selfishness of interests, time, money, inconsiderateness. It was interesting to see that many of the things that caused the destruction of marriage came down to selfishness. Bridges comments that, "the unselfish person is always balancing out his or her needs and concerns with the needs and concerns of others. By contrast, the selfish person not only is indifferent to the needs of others but actually expects them to meet his needs and desires.This form of selfishness is found in marriages where each spouse expects the others to meet his or her needs, instead of thinking how they can serve each other." So here are some of the easiest ways to destroy a marriage with a few comments by me:
"Destroy Your Marriage Tip #2: 
Continue to debate the toothpaste cap and the toilet seat as if winning the argument means you get to live 10 years longer."
If you think your life about winning your battles you're wrong. Standing on a molehill to die on is a very selfish way to make your best friend an enemy. Be gracious to each other, and don't let the little things become a big issue. Let "Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8) , and consider that you’re not always right.
"Destroy Your Marriage Tip #4: 
Put work before family."
Work should be to provide for a family, not to escape from reality and avoid responsibility. Loving others is to put them before yourself and provide not only provide for their physical needs but needs such as quality time, listening and sacrifice.
"Destroy Your Marriage Tip #7: 
Reserve your bed for sleeping. After all, that's what the mattress was designed for, right?"
I'm not married, but I've heard that it's easy to believe that your body is your own in marriage when really you are one flesh, and must be equally giving to each other. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says, "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
            You can find the rest of these tips here: https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/destroy-marriage-8-easy-steps-192200785.html, and remember that "Relationships are workrooms for redemption, not shelters for human happiness." (Tripp). Selfishness not only destroys you, but can hurt those you love most. Take time to think twice when you reach a difficult situation with a loved one and attempt to look to their needs before your own.

Cited:
Bridges, Jerry. Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2007. Print.
"How to Destroy Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps." Yahoo Shine. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Apr. 2014. <https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/destroy-marriage-8-easy-steps-192200785.html>.
Lane, Timothy S., and Paul David Tripp. Relationships: A Mess worth Making. Greensboro, NC: New Growth, 2008. Print.

The Heart at Risk

It is impossible to tell someone to just stop being angry. I remember years ago my little brother approached my mom and said something to the effect of, "Please don't be angry, but I was playing with your jewelry box when I was supposed to be taking a nap and I lost your wedding ring." After a decade has passed, my mom still finds it a little difficult to not be angry when she recalls that fateful day.

Robert Jones said that, "Anger is a universal problem, prevalent in every culture, experienced by every generation. No one is isolated from its presence or immune from it's poison. It permeates each person and spoils our most intimate relationships. Anger is a given part of our fallen fabric." Even the secular world would agree with this statement, and recent news has noted that outbursts of anger can give people a higher risk of heart problems. In this we can see how the common grace of God  works in such a way that though man's foolish hearts are darkened, they can many times see that there is a negative result of their actions, meaning they still have a conscience and that in this there is a restraint of sin’s full effect on the world, for which we can give thanks to God.

But how do we deal with so prevalent and harmful a sin? Linda Searing of the Washington Post said, "Though anger is a universal emotion, it’s how the feeling is expressed that can affect not only the immediate situation but also the person’s mental and physical health, experts say." Searing made an important point when she said "it's how the feeling is expressed" that changes the situation and the person's health.

In this life we may never escape circumstances that will infuriate us because it's part of the human condition, but does that give us license to give our anger full vent when it arises? I think not. But I don't think we should pretend that we are never angry in an attempt to be holy either. Anger can lead to bitterness, slander, obscene talk and a whole host of ungodly consequences, including mental and physical health failure if it is channeled the wrong way.

If we keep a guard on how our anger is expressed in it's initial uprising, it may change our circumstances and keep our hearts far from both physical and spiritual risk. We must deal with our anger in a godly way as Christians, which includes "a firm belief in the sovereignty of God; a diligent pursuit of brotherly love that covers a multitude of sins and does not keep a record of wrongs; and a humble realization that, in comparison to my brother's sin against me, I am the ten-thousand-talent debtor to God." (Jerry Bridges). These principles may help us be,"Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).

Searing, Linda. "People with Anger Issues May Be Putting Their Hearts at Risk."Washington Post. The Washington Post, 10 Mar. 2014. Web. 11 Mar. 2014.

Bridges, Jerry. Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2007. Print.

LGBT and the Gospel

What does the LGBT community and Christianity have in common? Both are hated by many, both stand for something that both shapes their worlds and is moving through the world, and both in essence are an identity. Each looks at the other and says "You're wrong!" But don't follow the train tracks too far. The LGBT has come to a point where they assign their own gender, they create a network that recognizes them as they want to be, and they find comfort, happiness, and peace in who they are. They have become their own mini-gods, taking their lives into their own hands and creating a plan for their lives. Christians believe that gender was assigned to them by God. Furthermore, they believe that those who are born-again receive a new identity that is based off of who Christ is and what He has done, and not who we want and try to be. In Christ alone does the Christian find comfort, true happiness, and peace. How can we as Christians explain to homosexuals that they are living a lie, usurping God's position, and glorifying themselves? The truth is, we can't. In his book Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges states that, "For the godly person, God is the center and focal point of his or her life….However, such a God-centeredness can be developed only in the context of an ever-growing intimate relationship with God. No one can genuinely desire to please God or glorify Him apart from such a relationship." As Romans 1 says, their "foolish hearts are darkened" and they cannot see that their idolatry has taken blotted out the true God to them. As much as we would like to go out and storm the gates of hell and see everyone come to a right relationship with God, a Christian's lifestyle is as futile to the LGBT as theirs is to us. In a recent article about Facebook's installation of gender options, there is a quote that says, "There's going to be a lot of people for whom this is going to mean nothing, but for the few it does impact, it means the world." 1 Corinthians 1:18 has what could be seen as the Christian restatement of this, "For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." As a Christian and lover of theology, I know that eventually all sinners must face the fact that their idols pales in comparison to the True God. though some may see their beliefs as merely a worldview, we know that from the beginning when God created everything, all heaven and earth was declared under the umbrella of God's sovereignty, so that there is no other way to be saved than through Christ. Only when a person's sexuality, and whole being for that matter, becomes Christ-centered, then they can truly see the flaws of their thinking. The gospel is the only way that can show someone the error of their ways so therefore we must never underestimate the power of the gospel over the power of sin and in the changing of lives. Bridges, Jerry. Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2007. Print. "Facebook Expands Gender Options: Transgender Activists Hail 'big Advance'" Theguardian.com. Guardian News and Media, 14 Feb. 2014. Web. 18 Feb. 2014.​

You Only Know

***I know this song is over two years old, but it has only in recent weeks gone viral and became wildly popular and covered, and that’s why I chose to use the song***

       In 2012 the British band Passenger released a song called ‘Let Her Go,” a bittersweet tune about newly realized values after a breakup. Two years later in the past few weeks this song has boomed to a Top Hit having been covered, quoted, and listened to by millions. At first glance there’s nothing striking about the softly crooned lyrics, but a closer examination would reveal deeply thoughtful and convicting lines. “You only miss the light when it’s burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go.”

       Having been struggling with longing for summer after facing the effects of  snow for the past few weeks and having just realized how much I enjoy being healthy after catching a cold, these lyrics are easily relatable-- sometimes you take your surroundings for granted until they change.

      This is a classic example of the old proverb, “A fish in water doesn't know it’s wet.” We passively meander through life as we know it, not even realizing our surroundings until they are gone, changed, or until someone points them out to us. To put it bluntly, our comfortable lives and naivety about the rest of the world shows a self-centered view of life. Of course many times we can’t help that our lives are shaped by our experiences, but have you ever thought that maybe your view of the world is too narrow?

      Proverbs 18:17 says that, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” This is a clear illustration of our own simple-mindedness. Our lives are shaped by our own minds until we are challenged by a person or circumstance. From a theological mindset, our sin nature has darkened our hearts so that we can only see life from a narcissistic view, but what if we decided to dive into life a little deeper and explore different perspectives on what we think is set in stone? What if we allowed God’s Word to mold our world into reality and renew our minds? What if we trusted God’s sovereignty so much that when we encountered view-changed experiences or ideas, we find joy in the fact that we still have so much left to learn in the world?

     And what if we really started to see our lives not in context of our own small views but in the context of the Gospel? We may quickly see that the sins we so easily tolerate are offensive to God, and that our sin affects not only ourselves but others as well. Sometimes we don’t know how truly sinful we are until we hold up our life up to the light of the gospel. Taking time to meditate on and store the Word of God in our hearts is  the only true way to see life outside of yourself and not live with a blind eye to the world outside of ourselves.

      You only know you've been blind when you use your eyes, You don’t know how little you know until you’re wise. 

Passenger. “Let Her Go.” All the Little Lights. Linear Recording. 2012.

"Passenger - Let Her Go [Official Video]." YouTube. YouTube, 25 July 2012. Web. 09 Feb. 2014. <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA>.

The Sex Trade, the Superbowl, and the Symptoms of Sin

        It exploded all over the media in a cloud of indignation. Who would have thought that the Superbowl-- a fundamentally fun family fling, has recently been labeled the largest location for licentiousness. The sex trade booms during the Superbowl, "as hundreds of thousands of people (mainly men) flock to the New York City metro area for the week’s festivities" (Dimon). People caught wind of this horror this past week and plastered their thoughts and statistics all over Facebook, twitter, and various blogging sites in order to raise awareness in hopes of ending this atrocity.

         Sadly, the Superbowl will continue to happen, men will still swarm to prostitutes, women will still be trafficked, and though some justice may be served, sex trafficking will not come to an end because most of the people posting about the scandal merely posted about the scandal and did nothing more. They believe that by simply exposing the scandal they have done their part to bring the injustice to an end.
         The truth of the matter is that sex trafficking will not stop because people expose it, because laws are regulated, and because sting raids are carried out. Sex trafficking is a result of lust and lust is a result of the fall and our disobedience. Until sin is remitted in the world, sexual sin will always be a problem. 

       As a lover and student of theology, I tend to see life in a slightly different light than others. I believe that nothing that happens in the world is an isolated event, for it is all a result of God's plan and because He is the Creator, everything can be related back to Him and we can learn more about Him and about ourselves through the world.
      The Superbowl sex trafficking scandal is a picture of our own lives. When our awareness of our issues are heightened, we try to get rid of the problem by lopping off the results of the sin. We throw away our computers to help us stop looking at pornography, quit our jobs because our co-workers contribute to our problem of foul language, and we don't go to stores because they cause us to envy intensely.

        Diagnosis doesn't equal a cure, Awareness does not mean cessation, and just because we change our circumstances does not mean that we've dealt with sin. Yes, maybe we have reached small victories in the areas we struggle with, but has the real problem really been dealt with? Has the lustful heart been made pure? Has the proud heart been humbled? Has the envious heart been satisfied? Perhaps we need to stop merely pruning the branches of sin and pull it out wholly by the root.

       Jesus illustrates this as cleaning the outside of a cup but leaving the inside filthy still. What good does that accomplish? Instead, Christ explains that the proper way to deal with sins is to, "First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean." (Matthew 23: 25-26) The remedy for our sins is the gospel and the gospel works from the inside out, not only changing our actions but our hearts.
       Don't resort to merely exposing sin; turn your eyes to Jesus Christ to extinguish sin and deal not only with the symptoms, but the actual illness as well.

Cited:
Dimon, Laura. "You'll Never See This Side of the Superbowl." Web log post. PoicyMic. Mic Network, 27 Jan. 2014. Web. <http://www.policymic.com/articles/79235/you-ll-never-see-this-side-of-the-super-bowl-on-tvx>.